I’m at a crossroads in my life. Or at least I was until I began university, so now it feels like I’ve just crossed the crossroads. In other ways, I haven’t; I’m still standing in the middle of several paths, each leading in a different direction, each route I want to take dependent on my mood. And being a hormonal teenage girl, this means I often end up beginning to take one route before backtracking and starting again. In other words, the last year of my life (give or take) has been incredibly emotional, but primarily, pretty terrifying. I left school last summer, uprooted my entire life and plonked it halfway across the country, in Manchester, on my own, knowing nobody and leaving behind every shred of the identity I had constructed for myself over the past 18 years. Needless to say, I was bricking it.
I started thinking a while ago as I walked to and from campus about the songs that had shaped my life up until this point. Everyone has songs that they remember hearing as a kid, or those they’ve loved for years, but having a particular set of songs which had an influence on your life, those are different. And so, with the crossroads comes the music. Strap in.
Magic – Pilot
This is possibly the very first song I remember hearing, or at least consciously concentrating on listening to. There isn’t much backstory to it, I was sat in the car with my Dad and the song came on the radio, and I just remember listening to it and liking the hook. Whenever I’ve heard it since, I think of that time.
Beach Baby – First Class
An epitome of summer and nostalgia, a childhood memory of a song that was just…there. I originally got confused with the song name, thinking the artist was the Beach Boys, also because the song could easily be mistaken for a Beach Boys track. Nevertheless, it’s up there with one of my childhood classics. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it in real life, it was confined to the mixtapes my Dad would build as a way of (probably) indoctrinating my brother and I. It worked, because this song absolutely slaps.
There She Goes – The La’s
One of my favourite sounds in the entire world is the sound of my dad playing acoustic guitar. I could listen to it forever and my earliest memory of this is dad sat at our table playing There She Goes. It’s also the song that my brother played on my guitar when he came to visit me at university, so it’s up there with the core memories.
My Sharona – The Knack
We’re moving away from the core memories now, but this is another childhood oldie. There isn’t really much of a memory attached to it, just another one that was always there, floating around in a cloud of gig setlists and tabs. I’ve also discovered that it’s a pain the arse to play on bass, so I decided to sit and drum it on my brother’s bedroom floor instead, using the carpet as a bass drum and the chair as a snare before I acquired an actual kit.
Boys of Summer – Don Henley
Another one to add to the summer playlist; I heard this song constantly growing up, played either by my dad or brother, and as a result, I could pick out the chorus because of its distinctive melody, but I could never remember the name of the song.
Now, my brother and I are much closer than we were when we were teenagers still living under the same roof. When this was the case, whenever I liked a song he was listening to and asked for its name, he would not tell me. God forbid I’d listen to a song that he liked because obviously, the second I listened to a song ‘of his,’ it would automatically ruin it for him and I would be forever burdened with the sin of corrupting a song that he enjoyed listening to. This very thing happened with Boys of Summer. After I received the usual reply, I decided enough was enough. I’d known this song for years and refused to allow the gatekeeping to continue. Marching to my dad’s office, I explained the sitch, and hummed/sang the chorus as best I could. After some guesswork, we eventually established the title and I immediately ran back to my brother’s door.
“Boys of Summer”
“Fucks sake”
Slam.
Nowadays, I often get messages from my brother which go something like this:
“Listen from 1:35-2:00, the bass is SO GOOD.”
Papa Don’t Preach – Madonna
Yes I know, but it was the very first single I bought on vinyl, so I kind of have to include it. Plus, not going to lie, I kind of really like it.
Waiting For a Star to Fall – Boy Meets Girl
I feel like many of the songs I’ve chosen to write about from my childhood all come under a certain emotional umbrella; they all seem to have that late 80’s/90’s summery nostalgia attached to them – the musical equivalent of battered, faded Levis, sunshine, bias cut dresses and oversized printed shirts, giant plants in living rooms and dandelions, all seen through a sepia filter. Basically, the music video of Waiting For a Star to Fall. I heard this song many, many years ago and never really heard it again. Many, many years later, re-enter brother. Same formula applied, however, this time, he actually told me what it was. We sat listening to it and came to the mutual conclusion that it was possibly the happiest song ever.
As well as the sentimental value of the song, the actual music itself is spectacular. The burst of saxophone at the start and the solo in the middle both evoke a metaphorical explosion of summer. That is what this song is to me. It is the musical representation of happiness and I don’t think music gets better than that.
Photograph – Def Leppard
Def Lep is one of the earliest bands I remember hearing, so there are many to choose from, but Photograph was the first song by them that I remember hearing (apart from Unbelievable, but I initially thought that was by McFly so let’s skate over that). Once again, I can’t pinpoint exactly where or when I heard the song, it was just kind of there, but it’s always been there as a popular Def Leppard favourite in my house. As I gradually became more interested in music, I began to analyse the guitars more, and I love the construction and intricacies of the chord sequences. My favourite part of the song is the crescendo, both on the studio recording and the live performances by Steve Clark in 1988 and Phil Collen now.
Livin’ On a Prayer – Bon Jovi
This was my favourite song for nearly 10 years. I don’t remember how exactly it was that I became obsessed with this song, but I’ve told the story in a previous post about how I discovered Bon Jovi as a band. Livin’ On a Prayer is obviously everyone’s gateway into 80s rock, so I think my first memory of this song is sitting on the sofa with the rest of my family and my Mum singing along to it on the TV. It was the song that I air guitared to in my room with a scarf tied around my head; it was the start of my idolisation of Jon Bon Jovi and it was the song that stayed with me through the years, and became ‘my song’ at school. Whenever it came on at parties, I’d be the one that people turned to. It stayed with me as an anthem of happiness, shit key change and all, and I loved the power and euphoria of that last chorus.
Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen
I’m going to voice possibly one of the most unpopular opinions to have as a rock fan – I’ve grown to not like this song. Here’s why…
When my brother and I were teenangers, our secondary schools put on a joint musical. The year that we did it, the musical was We Will Rock You. So obviously, I was in the cast and my brother was the guitarist. However, this did mean endless (enjoyable) rehearsals, and constant performances of BoRap. I can now never hear it and not think of the musical, so it’s just been done to death for me. Nevertheless, it reminds me of the fun I had putting on the production. And it was a bloody good production, not going to lie. We got sent a signed photo by Brian May.
Side note, the beginning of Innuendo nearly makes me wet myself from fear because that was the start of the first act.
Faithfully – Journey
I was raised listening to bands like Journey and Def Leppard, and Faithfully was one of those early Journey songs I heard. This should have been an early warning sign of my approaching AOR addiction, but I remember falling in love with Faithfully for the sweeping romance of it all. Being 9, this wasn’t really my area yet, but the first concert I went to was Journey when I was around this age. I remember little else apart from hearing the final chorus, sang primarily by the audience. I saw Journey again a few years later, supported by Styx and Foreigner, and again, the melody, the crescendo, the guitar, the piano, the vocals, everything about it elevated me when I heard it. It was the song I talked about in my very presentation at university, when, in a seminar focused on the history of popular music (best module EVER), I had to talk about a song I associated with a particular childhood memory, or one which meant a lot to me. I did feel sorry for my classmates, as I did get a bit animated talking about the song, but it was my one and only chance to yap about AOR and reader, you can bet I delivered.
Uptown Girl – Billy Joel
This is another Livin’ On a Prayer style gateway song, in this case, my gateway to Billy Joel’s An Innocent Man. Its title track, and a few others on that album stand out for me – This Night and Christie Lee. The former I loved for its melody (yeah it’s Beethoven but come on, artistic license), the harmonies and most importantly, the saxophone solo. I didn’t expect the energy of Christie Lee but it’s another fun one to have a lil dance to, and was another song which influenced my love of saxophone. But more on that later.
During the summer of 2016, I went to see Billy Joel at Wembley Stadium. I took along a friend who hadn’t been to a concert with me before. She did get elbowed, but I did warn her. Anyway, the concert was magnificent, and everyone knew what the encore would be. Surprise surprise, the stage was bathed in pink lighting as the drumbeat kicked in and 90,000 people started singing Uptown Girl. If you haven’t experienced this, I’d highly recommend it.
Love Theme to St Elmo’s Fire – David Foster
Now, I mentioned my love of saxophone. This is the song which tipped me over the edge, and I reckon that the emotional attachment to my favourite film has influenced my outlook on its soundtrack.
I mentioned at the start of this piece that I am at a crossroads in my life. I am teetering on the brink of something strange called ‘real life’, which I have come to realize, far fewer people know how to navigate than I originally thought. I’m at a crucial point at the start of university. It’s the time where I can start to make choices in terms of what career path I’d like to take, choose the people with whom I want to spend time, develop my hobbies, and ultimately, start carving a life for myself. It is the time where you have to take all of these things into account, and make a choice: sink or swim. Make the most of it, because, if you don’t, what else? It’s terrifying, so terrifying, I’ve never been so scared about anything in my life. The choices I’ve learned that people have to make when they’re this young have more of an impact than one would think. On one hand, the new start is a great thing, people can reinvent themselves, develop as a person, and generally take to it like a duck to water. Others hate it immediately, realize it isn’t for them, and decide to do other things. St Elmo’s Fire epitomizes that emotion. The film follows 7 friends who try to navigate life as college graduates in their early 20s. Some can do it, others take a little longer. Most have no clue what they’re doing. But, as the film develops and ends, it leaves a sense of “yes, it’s hard. Yes, you may not always know what you’re doing, and it’s scary having to go into the real world by yourself and work out your own life. But whatever happens, things will work out” And I believe that if the Love Theme to St Elmo’s Fire could speak, this is the thing it would say. When I heard it, I will just say that it affected me. I’m not entirely sure how, but it did, and that is all I feel I can say about it.
I feel the need to clarify that nowhere in here am I admitting that I think St Elmo’s Fire is a good film.
Alone – Heart
Ann Wilson.
Tangled
I watched Tangled the first time and quite liked it – I liked the story, and on a basic level, I liked the songs. However, upon the next couple of times I watched it, and then the next 39542952082 times I watched it, I came to realise that OH MY GOD THE SCORE. Alan Menken is already a genius, but this just isn’t fair. Listen to the instrumentation of I See the Light, or my personal favourite, the reprise of Mother Knows Best. Or just the background music. The film score for Tangled is one of the reasons that I decided I wanted to teach myself more about the construction of film music. But this was more in the sense of writing actual songs which were performed as part of the film, not traditional scores. This came later, and there is one person whom I have to thank for setting a fire inside me about the art of film music.
John Barry
I could go on forever about John Barry. To some, I have. If you’re one of the people to whom I haven’t spoken about him, I suggest you possibly don’t mention it around me. There are several standout pieces to me, but I’ve had to narrow it down a bit.
Body Heat plays into the saxophone thing and was another key one, combined with St Elmo’s, which made me want to play. I was once discussing Body Heat with a friend, and by that I mean I’d forced them to listen to it and tell me what they thought. I said that I thought the song was the musical equivalent of sex; or rather, how sex should be. They said it was more like seduction, and I found myself agreeing. The tempo and peaks and troughs of the motif combine to create such a heated atmosphere, heavy with anticipation.
I read a biography of John Barry over the summer. I would sit on the roof listening to his discography, and I noticed that there was a term frequently mentioned to describe his work – soaring. No better word to describe Out of Africa. I will be forever grateful to my dad for dragging me along to the John Barry memorial concert at the Royal Albert Hall a few years ago. I didn’t want to go, because at the time, I had no interest in his music whatsoever. I’m so, so glad that I went, because not only did I get to see Michael Caine and Shirley Bassey, I got to sit for a whole evening in the Albert Hall listening to the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra play John Barry’s greatest hits. My only exposure at that stage was the James Bond theme tune, but Out of Africa is one of the songs that I associate with that concert, and it’s remained one of my favourites.
Somewhere in Time is my dad’s favourite Barry piece, and one of mine. However, I viewed it differently before seeing the film. I shan’t give away the plot, I shall only say that the ending of the film was followed with about an hour and a half of weeping. Prioritize the score.
When I heard the London Theme, I felt that I had to learn how to create music. Taken from the series of pieces composed by Barry for Elizabeth Taylor’s visit to London, I listened to the whole lot but kept going back to the London Theme. It’s such classic Hollywood, it’s at once sweeping and beautifully elegant and feminine. I listened to it a few more times and picked up a book about film music. Currently 4 chapters in.
Take This Heart – Richard Marx
And now we come to my favourite song. It’s been newly appointed, and took some emotional effort to yank the crown off Livin’ On a Prayer, but I think it’s more than justified. “You fear every step you make, so sure that your heart will break/It’s not how the story ends, you’ll be back on your feet again.” If you refer back to the first paragraph of this (very long) post, or the paragraph concerning St Elmo’s Fire, you may understand why I listened to this song on a loop for about 16 hours straight. Re: terror of real life and need for musical comfort. My dad showed it to me in his office one summer evening on a whim, saying that he used to play it in a band. Anyway, I love it. I love it with all my heart, I told Richard Marx how much I loved it (he said thank you), and I love the video. Richard Marx has a habit of creating the sort of melodic hooks which perfectly scratch the itch in your brain. Everything about the song makes me feel empowered, happy and reassured. It’s been my go-to throughout my year of transition, and I still continue to love it.
Start Me Up – Rolling Stones
Ok, it’s an unpopular opinion in my house, but I love the Stones. I have many favourable Stones songs, but I’ve chosen Start Me Up, because it always makes me think of when I saw them in Hyde Park in 2013. The band came onstage and Start Me Up just exploded, and the entire festival was suddenly focused on them and I felt the air around me lift. I only have to hear the riff and it takes me right back to that summer; the feeling of walking bare foot on short, dusty grass and the faint, echoing sound of guitars wafting around on the breeze and remembering that the day I saw the Rolling Stones was one of the greatest days of my life.
Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – Wham!
Absolute banger. My first memory of it is sitting with my dad in his office, he showed me this song and I remember clearly the two of us laughing at the part of the video lit up in neon. I come from a house of Wham! lovers and will not hear a bad word against them. When we heard the news of George Michael’s death, it was the one which hit us hardest. His talent was undeniable and this was the song which introduced me to that talent.
I realized how long this post was when I hit about 3000 words. However, I didn’t want to stop, because there are so many songs which influenced my life in many different ways – some purely due to sentiment and memory, others due to influence and fascination. I am still at a crossroads in my life. I feel that I will find myself in this position many more times, but so far, this is the musical influence which has accompanied me on this path.
A life in song. A map for a crossroads. A helping hand for a work in progress.